So many nights, I whimpered and cried,
Thought that my prayers had all been denied.
Stuffing my feelings, ashamed of my plight,
Trying to stop, with all of my might.
Morning would come, and that is when,
The whole vicious cycle would start once again.
Tears would be streaming, I felt like a cow,
I wanted to stop, but I didn't know how.
Walking a block, and feeling such pain,
That I went right back home to start eating again.
" Your face is so pretty! Start using your head!"
"Just eat smaller portions , " my family said.
" Put down the fork! Push back from the table!"
That's what my friends said...But I wasn't able.
" Willpower's the secret!
We'll help you get through it!"
" TRY HARDER, " they urged...But I couldn't do it.
I tried every diet to get back on track,
I'd lose weight and then just gain twice as much back!
Every morning I'd pray, " God let me be good.
" Then I'd fail once again...and no one understood.
Each new day would bring another attempt,
Each evening would bring still more self-contempt.
Filled with self- loathing, such awful remorse,
Simply unable to get back on course.
Overwhelmed with this state of awful depression,
Giving in to this dark, paralyzing obsession.
I thought to myself, " You'll always be fat..
Accept it, move on! Learn to live with that fact!
" Questioning God and wondering why,
Positive that I was destined to die.
Yet something inside me was whispering, "No..
There MUST be a way.. It HAS to be so.
"I felt a new person was waiting inside me,
And it was their voice, I permitted to guide me.
I knew I could no longer go on this way,
Desperate and dying, bit by bit, day by day.
So I got on my knees, and prayed for relief,
Then God sent a miracle to lessen my grief.
A way to stop eating, so crazy I thought,
Went against everything I had been taught.
This was my last option, I felt like a jerk.
If this didn't do it, then NOTHING would work!
So I trusted the doctors, wholly and blindly,
And my God smiled down, completely and kindly.
An unorthodox treatment, but working so well,
To help lift me OUT of this ongoing hell.
A surgical wonder, that acts as a tool
To battle the fat, which has made life so cruel.
So as scared as I was, I knew I'd get through it...
Since I was so much more afraid not to do it.
And it went very smoothly, and I'm convinced of that.
That pain was less than the pain of this fat.
Nothing could hurt more than being this size,
While seeing the pity in everyone's eyes.
That part of my life is over and done,
But I'll never forget the place I come from.
I'll always be grateful, I'll always be driven
To bestow upon others the support I've been given.
The obsession has lifted, I'm whole and I'm free,
God and my surgeon gave my life back to me.
I 've learned to eat slowly, I've learned how to chew
Enjoying my food, as normal folks do.
I eat when I'm hungry, I stop when I'm not,
Being fat, in this life, will not be my lot.
I eat not for sport, but just to survive,
My whole life is changing...I'm glad I'm alive!
I will reach the goal that I'm aiming toward,
I've truly been blessed...Thank You, Dear Lord.
The peace that I feel is calming and true,
And for those who still suffer...I wish it for you.

-Author Unknown (submitted by Gay Durden)



The Idea of Surgery

Being fat is THE WORST! If you're not fat, you can't possibly understand. If you are handicapped or black or a woman, you may be discriminated against because of these traits, but these are not factors that can be controlled. If you are fat, you are discriminated against because you are a gross, willpower-lacking glutton.

After 20 years of being fat, I decided to do something about it!

July 31, 2001

John Deere Health Select
3800 23rd Avenue
Moline, IL 61265



To Whom It May Concern:

I respectfully request that you allow benefits to be paid for Gastric Bypass Surgery and related expenses prior to and following surgery. This letter will provide evidence that this surgery is medically necessary for me.

I am a smart person. I consider myself to have a very high IQ. I have a liberal arts degree, a master’s degree and almost a second master’s degree. I can solve most of the problems life presents me either on my own or with the help of my parents. I have the ideal job, and most aspects of my life are in order and moving in the right direction.WHY, then, can I not lose weight? It infuriates me. A smart, in-control person like me should be able to lose weight. Yet I just sit back, almost outside of my own body, and watch myself stay fat and get fatter.

I have been somewhat able to live life vicariously through my two size-4 sisters. This has served to either make me happy, or usually just make me more frustrated and jealous of them. As far as living my own life, I am waiting until I "get skinny" to experience life. I don’t enjoy being in social situations outside of my "comfort zone," because I have a "disparagement of [my] body image, a condition in which persons feel that their body is grotesque and loathsome. [I] believe that others view [me] with hostility and contempt, which makes [me] self-conscious and impairs [my] social functioning" (http://www.merck.com/pubs/mmanual/section1/chapter5/5a.htm). I have NEVER been on a date, even kissed a boy. I am not even pursuing a mate, though I strongly desire being married and starting a family. Who would want me like this? Why even bother? I will soon be thirty years old. I don’t have much longer to wait to get skinny. I will be an old maid soon. A study documented in a WebMD article "Obesity and Being Overweight," that followed obese adolescents for 7 years found that overweight women "were 20% less likely to be married" (http://my.webmd.com/content/article/1680.51096) than their normal-weight peers.

I find myself retreating even further into the safeness of my own world--my family and a few friends at work. Those people that don’t judge me or give me any grief about my size. I do not speak out in social situations by expressing my viewpoint as long as I am outside of my comfort zone. I often feel upset with myself when someone else makes an astounding revelation that I had in my head just a moment earlier (this happens often). I live in fear that someone will make a negative comment about my weight, and I have only in recent years been able to talk about being overweight myself.

According to the Alvarado Center for Surgical Weight Control, "the belief that Morbidly Obese patients can control their weight by restricted intake and altered behavior is illusory, and leads to a failure of medical therapy, not a failure of will power" (http://www.gastricbypass.com/Gastric%20Bypass-for%20Doctors%20Only.html). The medical field is failing in offering only the traditional weight loss options to people who are morbidly obese. The medical profession dismisses the failure of traditional programs as lack of success and willpower of the morbidly obese person.

I have been a member of several structured weight-loss plans, including a visit to a registered dietician and participation in Weight Watchers. In both instances I lost some weight before dropping out of the programs, either because of the patronizing attitude of the facilitators, or the inconvenience of sticking to the meal plan. The weight loss plans that have worked best for me have been the ones carried out by me, including keeping a journal of calories and fat consumed and exercise done. One summer, I was gung-ho about swimming laps at the community pool. Another summer, I walked around the apartment parking lot on a twice-daily basis. One summer, I limited my calories to ~800 a day and my fat to ~10-15 grams a day. I lost down to 205 pounds. When I stopped, I gained the 25 pounds back plus about 15 more.

I have also used weight-loss drugs to aid in my weight loss. I cannot take over-the-counter diet drugs and any prescription diet drugs I took had to be closely monitored by my doctor because of possible interactions with my other medications. My endocrinologist in Knoxville set up an appointment for me to visit a doctor in Asheville, North Carolina to receive a prescription for Fen-Phen®, as it could not yet be prescribed in my state. I stopped taking it shortly after it was prescribed due to the heart problems the drug reportedly caused. I have a $300 bottle of Meridia® in my medicine cabinet. I haven’t been taking the pills, because for them to work, one still has to exercise and diet.

I find myself, possibly because of things I learned about behavior in the psychology classes I took, or my obsession with weight loss, unable to do either of these anymore."Dietary weight loss attempts often cause depression, anxiety, irritability, weakness and preoccupation with food" (http://www.asbs.org/html/ration.html). Each time I go on a diet and come back off of it, I slip further and further into psychosis about weight loss. I have less willpower and more ability to rationalize eating anything at any moment--i.e.-everyone else is doing it, I can eat less later, if I count this as a meal and eat nothing else, who cares if I’m fat"...

I have not always been grotesquely morbidly obese. Up until the beginning of third grade, I was unusually small and skinny with long blond hair.In October of 1980, I had surgery to remove a craniopharyngioma. I gained weight immediately after surgery and lived life as a moderately overweight person until the tumor recurred and I had brain surgery again for the craniopharyngioma in 1987. Since that surgery, my weight has increased at an exponential rate, despite my continuous involvement in programs of exercise, diet and diet drugs. The National Cancer Institute defines a craniopharyngioma (KRAY-nee-o-fah-rin-jee-O-ma) as a "type of brain tumor that develops in the region of the pituitary gland near the hypothalamus, the area of the brain that controls body temperature, HUNGER, and thirst. These tumors are usually benign, but are sometimes considered malignant because they can press on or damage the hypothalamus and affect vital functions" (http://www.telemedical.com/Telemedical/Library/Diseases/Brain_Tumors.htm. Craniopharyngioma is a cause of pituitary hypofunction.Weight is determined by communication between the brain and the stomach and other digestive organs. One's eating patterns and knowing when the body is hungry are determined by "feeding and satiety centers located in the hypothalamus and pituitary glands of the brain that respond to signals indicating high fat stores and hunger" (http://my.webmd.com/printing/article/1680.51096). Tumors affecting this region of the brain, most commonly the craniopharyngioma, may affect the hypothalamic regulation of hunger and satiety. Craniopharyngiomas "give rise to the ventromedial syndrome of hyperphagia, which leads to obesity" (http://professional-content.webmd.com/sam/navig/sam_article.asp?article=article://3882.0903&query=%22stewart%20agras%22&highlight=t#hit). Hyperphagia refers to "overeating. The term is most often used for a syndrome, induced by a lesion in the ventromedial areas of the hypothalamus"resulting in excessive intake of foodstuffs, increased accumulation of adipose tissue and obesity." (The Penguin Dictionary of Psychology, © Arthur S. Reber, 1995).The "final common pathway to caloric balance lies in behavior mediated by the CNS" (http://www.merck.com/pubs/mmanual/section1/chapter5/5a.htm), regardless of the other factors affecting and aggravating my obesity.

Though I can link my obesity with being a result of my surgeries for craniopharyngiomas and the subsequent hypothalamic impairment, there is no way to reverse the weight I gained because of the surgeries. The surgeries and my resulting diets and ever-increasing preoccupation with food have resulted in my fat self. And I have to live with the fat. When I’m in a social situation, no one cares HOW I got fat. All that matters is that I AM. It used to be easy to just cross my arms and buckle up and say, "It’s not my fault.I can’t do anything about being fat."Well, it’s not going away.

At 5’1" tall and 250 pounds, I have a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 47. Severe morbid obesity is "defined as a body mass index >40 kg/m2" characterized by a weight which is at least 100 pounds or twice the ideal weight for frame, age, height and sex," according to the BlueCross BlueShield of Tennessee Medical Policy Manual (http://www.bcbst.com/MPManual/Bariatric_Surgery_for_Morbid_Obesity.htm). Waist circumference higher than 35 inches for females "signifies increased risk for heart disease, diabetes and impaired functioning.Distribution of body fat around the abdomen and hips may be a further indication of risk" (http://my.webmd.com/content/article/1680.51096). My waist is 42 or 44 at last measurement, and I have a large "spare tire" of fat around my abdomen, placing me in a position of worse health because of being fat.

Obesity is associated with increased mortality, perhaps 2-8 times that of an average-weighted person (http://www.gastricbypass.com/Gastric%20Bypass-for%20Doctors%20Only.html). Being fat also adversely affects my health in the areas of artherosclerotic cardiovascular disease and respiratory disease, in addition to the social diseases of depression and discrimination I discussed earlier.Artherosclerotic cardiovascular disease manifests itself in a number of ways, including hypertriglyceridemia, hypercholesterolemia, hypertension, and ultimately heart disease or heart failure (http://www.gastricbypass.com/Gastric%20Bypass-for%20Doctors%20Only.html). I have had instances of slightly elevated triglyceride and cholesterol levels on my routine doctor visits, but never high blood pressure or signs of heart disease. The expressions of respiratory disease in morbidly obese people include asthma, respiratory insufficiency and sleep apnea (http://www.gastricbypass.com/Gastric%20Bypass-for%20Doctors%20Only.html). My mother and sisters have told me that I often stop breathing at night when I am sleeping. Mom has become scared on occasion and wanted to awake me to make sure I was all right.Sleep apnea is characterized by "the upper throat relaxing and collapsing at intervals during sleep, thereby temporarily blocking the passage of air" (http://my.webmd.com/content/article/1680.51096). Because of my sleep-apnea symptoms, I do not get adequate rest at night. I am often sleepy through the day. I do not have any other respiratory deficiencies to my knowledge.

Another co-morbidity I experience because of being severely obese is chronic edema and swelling.Taking thyroid and corticosteroid medications causes one to retain water. I take both of these medicines for required hormone replacement therapy as a result of my surgeries. I have stretch marks around my abdomen and calves as a result of the edema and weight gain caused by these medications. I have not been able to wear shorts without socks pulled way up to my knees to hide them since these stretch marks appeared. I try to get tanned every summer to camouflage them a little bit, but fat does not tan.

The medicines I take and their side effects (according to MedLine Drug Information) are listed below:

  1. DECADRON--MedLine Drug Information: Corticosteroids Glucocorticoid Effects (Systemic) http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/corticosteroidsglucocorticoide202018.html
    1. reddish purple lines on arms, face, groin, legs, or trunk
    2. trouble in sleeping
    3. weight gain (rapid)
  2. LEVOXYL--MedLine Drug Information: Thyroid Hormones (Systemic) http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/thyroidhormonessystemic202566.html
    1. dry, puffy skin
    2. weight gain
  3. ESTRADIOL PATCHES--MedLine Drug Information: Estrogens http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/estrogenssystemic202226.html
    weight gain (rapid)
  4. MEDROXYPROGESTERONE--MedLine Drug Information: Progestins for Noncontraceptive Use (Systemic) http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/progestinsfornoncontraceptiveu202758.html
    1. unusual or rapid weight gain
    2. trouble in sleeping
  5. DDAVP--WebMD Drug Information: Desmopressin (Systemic) http://www.webmd.com/drugs/mono-112-DESMOPRESSIN+-+NASAL+SOLUTION.aspx?drugid=16777&drugname=DDAVP+Nasl
    weight gain (rapid)

Of the five prescription medications I take for hormone replacement necessitated by my craniopharyngioma surgeries, all five cause weight gain as a side effect.Two of the medicines cause trouble sleeping, a problem aggravated by or adding to my sleep-apnea symptoms.Decadron, the cortisone-like medicine I take, causes reddish purple lines on arms, legs, or trunk, explaining the stretch marks on my legs and abdomen.Levoxyl, the thyroid medicine I take, causes puffy skin, making me look even fatter.

As I discussed earlier, I am ready to stop living life as a morbidly obese woman and start having the life I want to have. I discussed the facts that I am definitely morbidly obese and suffer daily because of it.Whether my morbid obesity is caused by the effect of my craniopharyngioma surgeries on my hypothalamic function, the side effects of the medications I take, or my overeating caused by my ever-increasing preoccupation with food, it prevents me from being happy--from living life. I have proven that I, not unlike other morbidly obese individuals, am not able to lose the weight through programs of diet, exercise or diet drugs. In fact, "it’s clear that nonoperative treatment doesn’t work for the severely obese" In this group, the failure rate of dieting approaches 100%" (http://my.webmd.com/content/article/1689.51239). I have done everything in my power to lose weight so I can start a normal life--diet, exercise and diet drugs (and combinations of all three)--only to fall further and further into the diet neurosis. Here I am less and less able to control my weight, and I watch my weight increase or, at best, stay the same. I try every idea I have to help me lose weight. I have not been able to shed the pounds by running across America like Forrest Gump did, and a genie to grant me the wish of trading bodies with Jennifer Aniston has not appeared yet.Of the feasible weight-loss options I have tried, none have proven successful for the duration.

One weight-loss option I have not yet tried is weight loss surgery, which the Mayo Clinic finds "effective in obtaining a durable weight loss over four years [as well as] an overall improvement in quality of life" (http://www.mayo.edu/comm/mcr/news/news_1226.html). The BlueCross BlueShield Policy Manual defines medical appropriateness for surgery for morbid obesity by the following three factors:

  1. Morbid obesity is defined as at least 45 kg (100 pounds) over the ideal weight or at least twice the ideal weight.
  2. (BMI) of >40 kg/m2
  3. Condition of morbid obesity of at least 5 years duration with physician supervised multiple documented failed weight loss attempts (http://www.bcbst.com/MPManual/Bariatric_Surgery_for_Morbid_Obesity.htm).

The National Institute of Health has established the following standards and guidelines for medical appropriateness. The NIH says a candidate should:

  1. be at least 100 pounds over ideal body weight
  2. have a Body Mass Index (BMI) over 40
  3. and have no significant contraindications to surgery (http://www.adoctorinyourhouse.com/morbid_obesity/weight_loss_surgery/candidate.html)

I have indicated in this exposition that I meet all of these criteria: 1) I am at least 100 pounds of my ideal weight (actually 125 pounds over ideal); 2) I have a BMI of 47; and 3) I have been participating in weight-loss regimens since 1980. Surgery for weight loss, according to the American Society for Bariatric Surgery, is "medically necessary because it is the only proven method of achieving long-term weight control for the morbidly obese" (http://www.asbs.org/html/ration.html). When morbid obesity threatens life, "the only effective and long-term therapy is surgical treatment" (http://www.gastricbypass.com/Gastric%20Bypass-for%20Doctors%20Only.html), specifically Gastric Bypass Surgery. The gastric bypass works by making the intestines less efficient in absorbing food. Thus, it is a malabsorptive procedure (http://www.utmedicalgroup.com/pages/top_obesity.html). Laparoscopic gastric bypass surgery is becoming more widespread in the field of bariatric surgery.Laparoscopy was proven a safe method of weight-loss surgery at a recent Endocrine Society meeting in Toronto (http://www.physiciansweekly.com/archive/00/08_28_00/itn1.html). Laparoscopic gastric bypass is the desired surgical procedure for me, and likely it will be used on a more widespread basis in the future.Laparoscopic gastric bypass appears to be safe and effective in the treatment of severe or morbid obesity, though it is more technically challenging for doctors to perform (Wei-Jei Lee, MD, et al. Laparoscopic Versus Open-Banded Gastroplasty for the Treatment of Morbid Obesity. Surgical Laparoscopy, Endoscopy & Percutaneous Techniques 2001; 11:9-13). Surgeons must be skilled in both gastric bypass and laparoscopic procedures to perform this surgery.

After living 21 years as a fat person, I am ready to do something, anything, to begin my life. I am so tired of being depressed all the time and constantly being asked by my family, "What’s wrong?" or "Are you depressed?"Of course they know, but they work so hard to keep my spirits up. I am tired of being fat. I am MAD!I am depressed!Life is passing me by while I sit and watch myself get fatter and fatter. Diets and diet drugs and exercise clearly do not work with a person of my morbid obesity. My two surgeries to the hypothalamic region of my brain provide evidence that my body’s hunger and satiety center malfunctions, causing hyperphagia or overeating. My co-morbidities alone, those of increased mortality, borderline-cardiovascular disease and respiratory disease, in addition to the social diseases of depression and discrimination, warrant that major action be taken to reduce my weight.Having weight loss surgery now will prove much more lucrative and economical than having corrective surgeries my co-morbidities will inevitably necessitate in the future.Gastric Bypass Weight Loss Surgery will give me the chance to start living.

I thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I believe that I have shown that it is MEDICALLY NECESSARY for me to have this surgery.Please contact me if you need any further information when reviewing my case.


Sincerely,



Amy B. McCurdy

REFERENCES

  1. Agrad, M.D., Stewart.Section 1, Chapter 3, Obesity.WebMD, May 1998. Available online: http://professional-content.webmd.com/ sam/navig/sam_article.asp?article=article://3882.0903&query=%22stewart%20agras%22&highlight=t#hit.

  2. Alvarado Center for Surgical Weight Control. Gastric Bypass: For Doctors Only. San Diego: Alvarado, 1998.Available Online: http://www.gastricbypass.com/.

  3. American Society for Bariatric Surgery.Rationale For The Surgical Treatment Of Morbid Obesity. Gainesville, FL: ASBS, ©2000. Available online: http://www.asbs.org/html/ration.html.

  4. Are You a Candidate for Weight Loss Surgery? Spotlight Health, ©2001.Available online: http://www.adoctorinyourhouse.com/morbid_obesity/ weight_loss_surgery/candidate.html.

  5. Bariatric Surgery for Morbid Obesity.BlueCross BlueShield of Tennessee Medical Policy Manual. Available online: http://www.bcbst.com/ MPManual/Bariatric_Surgery_for_Morbid_Obesity.htm.

  6. Gastric Bypass Surgery Safe When Done by Laparoscopy. Physician’s Weekly 17, no. 33, 28 August 2000.Available online: http://www.physiciansweekly.com/archive/00/08_28_00/itn1.html.

  7. Guthrie, Catherine.Bariatric Surgery--It's not for everyone, but when it works, the results can be dramatic. WebMD Medical News.© 2000 WebMD Corporation. Available online: http://webmd.lycos.com/content/article/14/1689_51239?.

  8. Mayo Clinic Study Finds Gastric Bypass Surgery Effective. Mayo Clinic Rochester News, 9 August 2000. Available online: http://www.mayo.edu/comm/mcr/news/news_1226.html.

  9. MEDLINEplus Drug Information: Corticosteroids Glucocorticoid Effects (Systemic).Bethesda, MD: U.S. National Library of Medicine, 02 May 2001. Available online: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/ corticosteroidsglucocorticoide202018.html.

  10. MEDLINEplus Drug Information: Desmopressin (Systemic). Bethesda, MD: U.S. National Library of Medicine, 02 May 2001. Available online: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/desmopressinsystemic202186.html.

  11. MEDLINEplus Drug Information: Estrogens (Systemic). Bethesda, MD: U.S. National Library of Medicine, 02 May 2001. Available online: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/estrogenssystemic202226.html.

  12. MEDLINEplus Drug Information: Progestins for Noncontraceptive Use (Systemic).Bethesda, MD: U.S. National Library of Medicine, 02 May 2001. Available online: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/ progestinsfornoncontraceptiveu202758.html.

  13. MEDLINEplus Drug Information: Thyroid Hormones (Systemic). Bethesda, MD: U.S. National Library of Medicine, 02 May 2001. Available online: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/thyroidhormonessystemic202566.html.

  14. National Cancer Institute.What You Need to Know About Brain Tumors. 28 September 1998.Available online: http://www.telemedical.com/ Telemedical/Library/Diseases/Brain_Tumors.htm.

  15. Sec. 1, Nutritional Disorders, Ch. 5, Obesity. The Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy.Whitehouse Station, NJ: Merck & Co., Inc., Copyright © 1995-2001. Available online: http://www.merck.com/ pubs/mmanual/section1/chapter5/5a.htm.

  16. UT Medical Group, Inc. Obesity.UT Medical Group, Inc., 24 July 2001.Available online: http://www.utmedicalgroup.com/pages/top_obesity.html.

  17. Wei-Jei Lee, MD, et al.Laparoscopic Versus Open-Banded Gastroplasty for the Treatment of Morbid Obesity.Surgical Laparoscopy, Endoscopy & Percutaneous Techniques 2001; 11:9-13.

  18. Well-Connected Report: Obesity and Being Overweight--An up-to-date article that describes the current thinking on obesity and weight control, including dietary and behavioral dieting methods, plus a look at the new drugs that have replaced Phen-Fen in the medical armamentarium. December 1998. Available online: http://my.webmd.com/printing/article/1680.51096.



Sharing of the Letter

I was not really going to mail the letter. I mean, fat chance! I carried the letter around with me from February until July. I named the file on my computer story.doc so if I died they would not find it for a few months.

I let one sister then Mom then my other sister read it. I finally started tossing the idea around with the nurses at Dr. Avery's, where I was working over the summer. They told me to go for it!

I saw Dr. Law, my endocrinologist within the next month. I told him I had thought about gastric bypass and left the letter with him. I wanted him to read it right then, but since it was so long, I didn't cry when he tucked it into my chart. Dr. Law told me to mail the letter and see what happened. In the meantime, he wrote a letter to my Primary Care Physician stating I had written a very eloquent letter explaining my desires for the surgery and that he definitely approved of the idea.



Insurance

I have John Deere Select Insurance, an HMO plan. I sent the letter to John Deere just for the heck of it, like Dr. Law had suggested. Within weeks (just long enough for me to have forgotten about it), I got a call from a representative at John Deere. She confirmed they had received the letter but were confused about which physician was requesting the surgery, as my insurance plan necessitates a referral for specialty care. In her message, the John Deere representative said that, based on my evidence, I was pretty much approved. All she needed was a letter of recommendation from my PCP and medical records substantiating the evidence I provided in the letter of my morbid obesity.

In the end, I was approved for Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass, namely Consult, Diagnostic Testing, Medical and Surgical Treatment by Dr. Champion. Though I received a blanket approval for the surgery, I still had to get a PCP referral for each step of the way--Consult, Pre-op testing and office visit, etc. My portion of the surgeon's fees was $1600.00



Feelings About the Upcoming Surgery

I was so taken aback by my insurance company's approval of the surgery, that I hadn't really thought of the actual ramifications of a Gastric Bypass on ME! Before, it had always been a dream, a wish...

July 11, 2002

Well, right now I'm still fat. But I've never had a more positive chance of becoming PHAT! I never had much faith in the wishes I've made at wishing wells, with my birthday candles and every time I found a loose eyelash. The wish was always the same-to be skinny. Since I was ten years old. That's a lot of wishes.

July 17, 2002

I found out yesterday when I will have my consultation appointment with Dr. Champion. Not until September 27th! I've waited 20 years-I guess I can wait 2 months and 10 days longer!

God, will I really be able to do this? Is this what I really wanted to do? It's different now that it's not dream-world anymore. This is a major deal and a lot of money. There are so many joys I would have sacrificed in my life to have only been thin and beautiful. I DO want to do this. I have fantasies of walking in on people I haven't seen for some time, twirling around in my new skinny body and having them stare with their mouths agape. To be able to shop at the Gap or Banana Republic... What a dream!

The person who I made my appointment with at Dr. Champion's office had some important pre-operative instructions for me to follow, to transition to life after surgery and to lose some weight prior to surgery:

  1. Avoid sugary foods and foods that break down to sugars (i.e. potatoes, pasta, white bread and rice)
  2. Choose whole wheat foods
  3. Begin walking for exercise daily
  4. Chew food until it is liquified
  5. Eat only three meals a day with one snack

I tried to follow the instructions Dr. Champion gave, but the period I needed to lose weight happened right over the holidays. So special! I work at a school and there is food all over the place all the time. After Christmas, I weighed. The scale said 258. I thought I weighed 257 when I saw Dr. Champion on September 27th, but then I really became worried that my weight had been 247 then (I never remember--I am in such denial of my weight) and that he'd turn me away when I saw him. On Friday and Saturday before I went for pre-op, I did the Hollywood Miracle Diet as a last chance. I weighed in at Dr. Champion's at 252--from, yes, 257 in September. WHEW!



SURGERY

Pre-Op Day

I had to be in Atlanta on Monday, January 6th, two days before my surgery for a pre-operative visit with Dr. Champion and registration and screening at the hospital. It was the first day Dr. Champion had seen patients back since the holidays, and evidently he told everyone to be there at 8:30. The waiting room was full, with about 12 people actually being patients. The day started out with Michele, the head nurse, distributing materials and talking to the group as a whole. Michelle had the surgery herself and gave the group great first-hand knowledge about the surgery, diet and exercise. We got binders of information to read, tote bags, and free samples of Flinstones vitamins, Tums, Gas-X and protein powder packets to play with. It is a good thing, because I sat in the waiting room with my parents until 1:30 for my 8:30 appointment! I was second-to-last of all the twelve patients to be seen--about 30 minutes each and some still had to watch the video. What was really cool is that everyone in the waiting room was chatting about their lives, weight loss surgery decisions, other life events. That made time pass faster. No lunch, because I had to weigh-in (Dr. Champion said to NOT GAIN and actually try to lose some weight before surgery.)

Anyway, at 1:30, I finally got to see Dr. Champion. The pre-operative visit consisted of weigh-in, Dr. Champion asking me if I was still sure I wanted to do it and discussing how my Cortisone dosage will have to be handled while I'm in the hospital. He dismissed me and I rushed to Emory-Dunwoody Medical Center (while scarfing Arby's in the car), where I had to be at 3:00 for pre-operative work. If I thought I did some sitting in the waiting room at Dr. Champion's office, whhhhhhhhhooooooooaaaa-hoooooooo! I hadn't seen nothing yet! Waiting at the hospital was an ordeal. First I had to wait at registration. Got registered and went for an EKG. I had to wait in the radiology waiting room for-EV-ver! Once the EKG was done, I went for lab work and a chest x-ray. Then I headed back to the hotel. At 7:30 when I got there, I absolutely crashed. Slept ALL night.

Free Day

The good thing about living out of town is I got to stay overnight in Atlanta rather than driving from Knoxville for Monday pre-op and back on Wednesday for surgery. Darn! We stayed at the Marriott Residence Inn, which was real nice if there's only one or two people. I had to sleep on the sleeper sofa, though, which I wasn't thrilled about. Papa just doesn't think about things like that though.

On Tuesday, I ate my last meal at The Clubhouse Restaurant at Lenox Square Mall. I had a meatloaf sundae. It was layered like this--toast, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, toast, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, onion straws. All with a swizzle stick stuck down the middle. Lord! Thing about it was, I wasn't very hungry. I got through one layer of the mashed potatoes and one layer of the meatloaf. That last rite of passage being over, I commenced to shopping like a MANIAC! If you aren't from Atlanta, shopping there is awesome. So many places to go, so little time and money!

Some cool places I went and highly recommend are:

  1. Lenox Square Mall--I go there everytime I am in town. It is the mall to beat all malls in my mind's eye. I love the department stores. Used to love Lane Bryant, but hopefully soon I can start loving Gap and J. Crew and Limited and Lerner...
  2. Little 5 Points is cool too. Ecclectic!
  3. Underground Atlanta's fun and there's lots of touristy stuff nearby.
  4. T.J. Maxx and Marshall's--always.

Anyway, I didn't want to buy clothes for obvious reasons, and when you're not shopping for clothes, it doesn't take very long.

We went through the Wendy's drive-thru and then back to the hotel. Mom and Dad ate singles and fries. I ate liquid diet. I went to bed at about 10:00 and listened to kids running above my head until about 11:30, when I fell asleep.



`Twas the night before bypass, when all through my gut
Not a morsel was stirring, not even a nut.

The suitcase was packed by the back door with care,
In hopes that a new me would soon return there.

I lay all nested, snug in my bed
While visions of calories danced in my head;

And me in my plus size pajamas and wrap,
Had just settled in for a long restless nap.

When deep in my mind there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my dreams to see what was the matter.

Away to my fridge I flew like a flash,
Ripped open the door and drooled at the stash.

The moonlight reflecting off the beautiful snacks
Gave a luster of radiance to all on the racks.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But an array of the comfort foods I hold so dear.

With a familiar feeling of all those I'd pick,
I thought in a moment I just might be sick.

More lovely than angels their voices they came,
And they whistled and shouted and called me by name;

"Now pizza, now French Fries, now chocolate galore
On cheesecake, on ice cream, on donuts and more!"

>From the tip of my tongue, to the bottom of my toe,
I will miss you all more than ever you'll know.

As an addict that shakes and stirs as he sits,
I'll mourn the loss of my delectable hits.

So back to my bed I went with great haste,
And settled back down with nary a taste.

And then in an instant, in pre-op I sat,
Nervously wating to no longer be fat.

As I sat deep in thought and adjusted my gown,
In came my surgeon in one single bound.

He was dressed all in scrubs, from his head to his feet
And he seemed very calm as he eyed me like meat.

He looked at my chart, with his scope gave a listen,
I don't think he noticed my eyes starting to glisten

. He was chubby and plump -- he could lose some himself,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke barely a word as he prepped for his work,
He paused for a moment, then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger aside of his face,
And giving a nod, out of the room he did race.

He checked in the next day, to his students gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim as he waled out of sight,
"Speedy thinness to you and a healthier life!"

--Author unknown (submitted by Gay Durden)



Surgery Day

On January 8, 2003, I was supposed to be at Emory Dunwoody Medical Center at 10:00 for my RNY Gastric Bypass at 12:45. Mom and Dad and I pull up to the hospital at a quarter till ten, spasing out, my cell phone's blowin' up, trying to park. Anyway, turns out we finally get into the hospital and they were trying to call me to tell me the person scheduled to go before me had cancelled. They could take me right back. WHOA! Deja vu to the feelings I had when I found out I had actually been approved for the surgery.

Anyway, I changed into hospital regalia and got into a bed in day surgery. A nurse started my IV there and then I was rolled to the surgery holding area. I remember vividly lying there, just kicking it. Someone came by to check on me a couple of times. There was a lady next to me who had already received her "happy shot" and was kind of out there--talking to the nurse, just talking. When the nurse came back to check to see if I needed anything, I told her, "I'll have what she's having," and pointed to the lady next to me. The nurse said I would get mine soon. I must have fallen asleep before I got the shot though, because that's the last thing I remember.

When I woke up, I was in a room. I slept through the whole thing! :) Mom and Dad were there as I came in and out of sleep. What I remember about the afternoon after surgery is: nurses checking vitals a lot, mom feeding me ice chips, and getting up and walking to the bathroom two or three times. I think I had either one or two pain shots. I wasn't in great pain.

The next two days in the hospital were squirm days. I couldn't get comfortable in that bed, in that gown. I had a drainage tube with an exterior bag on my hip and my IV on that same arm, so I couldn't lie on my left side at all. Those were the worst things about recovery (the tube and IV). Nothing to the laparoscopy incisions. Day two and three consisted of walking to the bathroom and through the halls, watching TV and reading, and being awakened for vitals every single time I drifted to sleep and all through the night. Love THAT! On Thursday and Friday after surgery, they brought a liquid diet meal--juice, broth, jello and tea. I tried to force some of it, but I just didn't want it and I was scared to eat it because I didn't know how sore I was inside. I'd say over the three days I got a good bite or two of jello and 1/2 cup broth in.

On Saturday morning, a nurse removed my IV and Dr. Williams came in to see me. He checked my incisions. Then he did what was to be the most unpleasant part of the hospital stay. He removed my drainage tube. He prefaced this action by telling me to put a bandaid on it later and the hole would just seal up. Then he said I might feel some pressure because the tube was placed under my diaphragm. Then he quickly pulled two arm's lengths of tube out. It didn't hurt but it felt sicky nasty. Whew!

To sum up the surgery and hospital stay, it was brief--an in-and-out procedure. I guess I slept for most of the time, and it was not unpleasant for most of the time. Most of this surgery is what you do before and after the surgery that counts.

I feel armed to practice what I have learned from Dr. Champion and his staff to use my new pouch as a tool to return to Laura Flynn Boyle, well okay Emme's size. I am using the three-stage diet plan and exercise plan, as well as the rules for life I learned from Dr. Champion to start my new life. You can read about these elements of diet and lifestyle on my Diet and Lifestyle page.




The "BEFORE" pictures




Me 4 days after surgery (and down 19 pounds)



Me back at work on January 22 (and down 25 pounds)




My mom and I at the beach on Spring Break. I had lost 65 pounds here.



Me with my family at a wedding on April 26.
I have lost a total of 73 pounds in these pictures.




Me at Marshside Mama's on Daufuskie Island. We took a side trip here on our family vacation to Hilton Head, June 2003.
I have lost a total of 92 pounds in this picture.





Me in my HOTTIE tee shirt on July 5th.
I feel like a hottie here after having lost 100 pounds!







Me at my sister's Bridesmaids Luncheon and me as a bridesmaid in her wedding below. I'm at my all-time low of 116 pounds lost, weighing in at 141!





From The Knoxville News Sentinel, August 17, 2004:
Amy McCurdy stocks up on donated supplies at the Teacher Supply Depot
Saturday, August 14. McCurdy is the librarian at Halls Elementary.

I'm FAMOUS at 140 pounds!


Hey! How you doin'?





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Last updated January 28, 2006.